I had a realization today. I kill my own fun.
Now, wait, hear me out.
Recently I tried out Left for Dead 2 and I was totally gangbusters to start developing content for it. I played it for a few hours and then dove into the level editor and started hammering out buildings and figuring out entities and how everything works. This led to my wanting to make a survival map which has blossomed into my wanting to create a campaign which has led me to my inevitable destination – a partially built level and waning enthusiasm. I see how much work I have completed but I also see how much work lies ahead. Blech.
I realized that I’ve almost forgotten how to have fun with games. I’m so eager to jump into content creation now that I don’t just appreciate the game for what it is. I don’t have the patience for magic anymore; I NEED to see behind the curtain and I need to tame it.
So with that knowledge I’m now going to start getting back in touch with games and just playing them for the fun of it. I’m going to stop tearing off the hood and resist my inner temptations to know how everything works right off the bat.
The level designer in me wants to know what’s under the hood. The game player in me wants to put the top down and just drive. I think there’s room for a good balance here.